On the other hand, I have been learning to soothe myself by sucking on my hand. Doesn't do much, but is kinda distracting and a bit comforting. Getting my thumb out hasn't happened much, but the knuckle does just fine for me.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
It has been a rough day. Ever since yesterday evening, I have had a hard time sleeping. I didn't nap well at all today and slept seven and a half last night but then only two and two. When I go to sleep, I can't stay asleep. What could this disturbance be? Is it my tummy? It is extra rumbly. What is causing that? Although I have been crying more and taking in more air that way. There have also been many people over. Or my mama had way to many sugar cookies when she hasn't had sugar for the most part? The timing of the cookies does match, but who really knows what it is. It's all speculation because even I don't know really. All I know is that I'm tired, and my mama and daddy so want me to sleep so I can grow and be smiley again. Though I am ridiculously cute even when I'm crying, I know I'm breaking their hearts with my suffering. Is there no help or understanding?
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Mamas and papas hold a deep love for their children, one that goes beyond rational thought into instinctual intuition. I slept easily last night at the very first, but I woke up after a bit and needed some reassurance. It took me a while to soothe myself to sleep. In the end, though, I slept over eight hours, woke up, ate, chilled with my mama and went back to sleep for another four and a half hours. I guess bath time didn't make as much difference as it could. I am spending more time crying because I'm not being nursed to sleep anymore. My parents are there with me, letting me know I'm safe and they'll be there when I wake up. It's still hard and scary, though, for them and for me.
As I was saying about parental love, not only do they have to watch helplessly as tiny tears roll down my little cheeks, but they also have to love me no matter what, even if I poop on them. This is how I know my mama really loves me. Unfortunately for her, that doesn't keep me from crying when it's time for me to go to sleep on my own.
Today my new friend Olivia came over with her parents Justin and Darla from the home birth childbirth class my parents took. More on them to come, but I had my first family play date, a rather exciting adventure. I cried in the beginning because it was just at the time I was going to go to sleep. I did a good bit of crying actually, when I wasn't sleeping or nursing, but usually when I was tired and trying to go to sleep. Having friends over is very stimulating. Olivia and I even got some tummy time together, so I still worked on holding my head up. I held it up the highest and steadiest ever!
The point is, I was a tired bunny. My mama, as you know, is trying to move up bath time. She would have shot for 7:00 but we were having such a good time on our play date that I didn't end up going to the potty till close to 8:00 again. When bath time came, though -- no hot water! So, I didn't get my bath. Instead, I got swaddled and ate some food. I was really sleepy anyway. After a good nurse, my mama put me down on the sheepskin, covered me with the wool blankets, turned on the video monitor and left the room. I slept for a few minutes, fussed for a few with my mama's voice telling me that I would be ok. Then she left me on my own to get myself to sleep. I looked around and open and closed my eyes for over twenty more minutes, by myself. I ended up going to sleep at the same time as last night. My mama is waiting to see how I do with getting thrown a curveball with the no hot water thing. How important is bath time? We will see by tomorrow morning!
Right. Sleep. 9 hours, as you remember, then just over 8.5 night before last. This morning I woke up after just over 8.5 again, BUT the routine got moved up. My mama is going back to work in April and wanted me to start waking at five or so to eat, but, as she is sleep greedy and needy, only after i have slept over eight hours. Bath time was, you recall, at 9:30. Last night, my parents decided I should start this more lasting sleep routine/pattern in a way that would work for when I am five months old. Bath time came at 8:00 instead. My mama wondered how that would affect my sleep quantity, which as I said she is grateful for, and found out that I am capable of transitioning. Tomorrow...or today...tonight is another opportunity for all of us to learn something.
This morning however, was a first. I woke up as a time or two before, calm curious and considering ... and today quiet. I stretched a good bit, the supreme head and back arch being a long standing favorite of mine. My mama decided to feed me before forcing me to endure a diaper change or pottying event. I ate heartily, grateful for the sustenance, and just when i looked as though falling asleep, i opened my eyes in alert. this caused my mom to correctly inuit, subconsciously, that i needed potty time. this counts as "activity time." ***Note: my mama has been reading some book by some woman who can whisper to babies. Her thing is E(at). A(ctivity). S(leep). Y(ou, that being a big person).*** my calm rose to a cheeriness as my mama took off my diaper to see that it was D-R-Y. she was surprised, to say the least, because i didn't potty since before my bath at 8:00. Another surprise as I pooped quite happily (I like to smile and laugh after I poop to show my pleasure) and peed a good pee. I am still quietly enjoying the day, you see. My mama gave me a little more food before activity time--now, I should say that I probably could have had more consciously directed or enforced activity time after nursing, but I seem to have made some good choices on my own to make up for my parents lack of interesting ideas. The point is, I haven't had much of an opportunity to learn to play on my own, though I have loved faces and chatty with people. Today though, my mama and I looked around the room, mostly at the fan. I listened while my mama told me about the room. Then she put me in bed while I was awake--this is another thing I might have been able to handle if my parents had tried earlier. I became very chatty for a while and looked all around me. As I started to yawn and get sleepy, though, I got cranky from wanting sleep to come. I fussed for a while, nothing out of the ordinary, and after a time got myself to sleep. From waking, through potty and eating, and even during activity time and after being put down, I was calm and curious and content.
p.s. my mama may be sleep needy/greedy, but she never ends up getting all the sleep that i get. who knows what she does with her time for fun, but sometimes while i am all sweet-faced in the middle of the night. she is lying awake for various reasons. i'm not sure, but sometimes i get the feeling she is seeking me out, waiting to see when i am going to wake and if my stirring noises are me awake or me in a state that i should/could go back to sleep again....it's just a feeling.........
Sunday, December 27, 2009
A slide show of photos of me and my baby parts taken by Tia Anjuli and edited by my mama. Forgive the background music. It's a beautiful song, "Jhala," from ONE-- check them out at ReverbNation, but my mama couldn't find any way to cut the eight minute song into better clip. It does happen to end at the beginning of the song, so it kind of fits?
I can also follow an object left and right and up and down. I can even turn my head to keep looking at an object that is in my periphery. Who knows how long I've been able to do this, and my parents never gave me the chance to show off?
My mama is amazed. I amaze my parents every day, which amazes me because I'm just doing what I do, being me. Last night was a bit rough in the beginning. My mama thinks I was overstimulated from the visitors and the movie. My Tia Anjuli was here with Ram Uncle and E-ma. Aunt B was in from Cali, but I am hoping she moves back so we can spend time together. Maybe she would like to spend some time with me when I am older while my parents abandon me for some selfish reason of their own. (hint hint--Anjuli you too)
Anyway, I got my bath on time, already a bit sleepy...probably from nursing from 4 pm on every hour more or less. I got another feed in, but couldn't get myself to sleep. I kept waking up and nursing every five to ten minutes. My mama decided I had some feelings inside that I needed to get out before I could sleep well. I cried in my mama's ear for fifteen minutes while she held me good and close so I felt safe. All of a sudden, I felt better and went immediately to sleep--almost an hour or more later than the last number of days.
Here's the thing. I slept for seven hours, squirmed and squawked for a minute or two, but my eyes weren't open so my mama didn't believe I was truly waking. Indeed, it turns out I needed to pass some gas--that was taking some effort and causing me discomfort and waking me up. I got it out though, woke up a bit later for a miniature repeat and slept for another long while. All in all, I slept over nine hours straight last night without waking to nurse. My mama was wondering if I was too sleepy and hungry to wake myself, like some jaundice babies get, but she figured I was too old for that. Sure enough, I woke up (actually started opening my eyes), and I was calm and refreshed. I was peaceful all through being pottied (where I didn't pee because I peed a bit in my diaper and seem to need to get some food in to stimulate the old stuff going out). I was calm even to being nursed. This is only the second time I've woken so gracefully, this one better than the last. My mama wonders if part of this success (though she is hesitant to call it that since she's not sure what that means or what is even desirable) comes from the expulsion of my feelings last night before going to sleep. Maybe there are more kinds of elimination needed than just pee and poo. Here's an interesting article on the idea of feelings: "Helping Young Children Sleep"
The final piece in this story brings us to activity time. I, of course, was able to be quite alert and active having slept and eaten so well. ***Note: Some of these concepts are coming from natural intuition and observation and some are coming from the brief glimpses my mama has read from the "Baby Whisperer" who recommends activity time after nursing rather than nurse-sleep. Although, sometimes I do that on my own and occasionally I fall asleep during a comforting nurse.*** I worked on crawling again today. This was another moment for me to amaze my mama. I did more today than yesterday. I was a bit more coordinated and a bit stronger too. I started to reach with my left hand and was able to use my knees and feet a bit better. My right arm got a bit stronger and coordinated so I was able to pick my head a bit better. I *might* have moved forward a centimeter or two in what one *might* call a crawling motion. All I know is that I worked so hard I didn't even cry but instead put my head down for a break and got heavy eyelids. My mama threw me in a sling and gave me a bit of a walkabout till I felt safe and relaxed and loved. Nap time....E.A.S.Y. = Eat, Activity, Sleep, (time for) You. Who knows what my mama does with her time...
Saturday, December 26, 2009
I needed a little extra help and comfort to get to sleep for a nap. My daddy carried me in the fleece sling, and mama covered me with little bear blanket. I fell quickly asleep.
The routine continues to be steady. I went to sleep a tiny bit later, but I slept for almost eight hours. I was rather squirmy for a lot of it though, working things through my digestive system. Every time my parents take me to the potty I smile and laugh and talk talk talk. I kick my legs and move my arms around. It is quite a time to be had.
Lately I've been getting more activity time. Yesterday I worked on crawling for a while. I got the arms/legs motion down kinda roughly. I looked like I was swimming. In the evening, I practiced sitting up by myself, learning how to keep my head and body steady even when I'm leaning forward or backward -- sideways is not so good yet. This morning I was so happy and cheery, and I worked extra hard. I got my left knee action working really well and pushed my right hand so I could pick up my head. That was hard because I had to steady myself when I got up and coordinate my arms and legs and right and left sides. For a few seconds, though, I got myself up. I was pretty tuckered out. My mama stopped videotaping and cuddled. I was breathing all heavy, so my mama guided me with some slow, deep breathing. I calmed down and looked right at her for long minutes, and we talked together -- deep thoughts. I am currently taking a well earned nap after a good feed. Hard work, being me.
Friday, December 25, 2009
My mama thinks I am getting more mature, particularly my digestive system and my ability to actually use my eliminatory muscles. I don't cry from gas anymore, I don't get hiccups quite so much and I can pass gass on my own, though I do get squirmy wormy at times. I can even do it in my sleep! I am definitely getting the hang of this digestion thing. I'm getting to be a big girl with a big girl stomach!
Last night the routine was a little busier with Uncle Ram helping my daddy give me a bath and Tia Anjuli and E-Ma looking on, but I slept well last night. I went seven and a half hours, nursed and went to sleep in twenty-five minutes and then had another three hour stretch. The biggest victory, though, was that I woke up on my own and was squirmy out some gas from my tummy without crying. This was the first time I woke up, pottied and got to the nursing station with NO CRYING!!! This was by far the most graceful awakening I have had in my life. Let us hope this is a taste of even better things to come.
You may not be able to see them very well, but I am getting my eyebrows in, my mama noticed.
Auntie Lelayna came for a visit and finally got to hold me! She is a comfy, loving sort of person. I like her.